So, I opened up an e-mail account specifically for use with this Tumblr. It’s linesofdietcoke@gmail.com.
I made it in case anyone needs to ask or vent anything that is longer than an ask box fits or if it needs a quicker response. The e-mail will go straight to my phone whereas I actually have to go on Tumblr to check if I have messages (I don’t always get an e-mail alert when someone messages me on here).
I don’t know about anyone else, but my first year of recovery felt like it lasted FOR.EV.ER. But this second year is flying by. I’ll have two years March 1st, and seriously, it feels like my 1 year dinner was yesterday.
I think it probably has to do with losing the focus on counting months. There were no coins to get, so I wasn’t counting down every day. It wasn’t “Oh, it’s May 12th, 19 more days until my three months.” It was more like, “Oh, my birthday is in two months, I can’t wait.” And “Oh, Halloween is almost here, I’m so excited.”
And now, it’s like “Oh, my anniversary is in just over two months, how the hell did that creep up on me like that?”
(Source: greatfullyrecovering)
- another day sober
- holiday party for work tonight was way more fun than I thought
- pretty successful day at work today even though we missed the day.
- this girl at work gave me the most beautiful bracelet that she hand made. It’s so gorgeous. I will post a picture when I have better lighting.
Posting early because I work until 11:30 tonight.
- Another day sober.
- My boss let me come in a half hour later.
- Lots of time to relax before work.
- Ordered my new glasses.
- Lots of delicious, healthy food in my fridge.
- Went to a really great this morning and last night.
- Another day sober
- Pay day!
- Took my car in to the mechanic. A tire rotation ($50) fixed the problem for the mean time. I will need new tires soon, but at least this gives me some time to save up for it.
- Went to the eye doctor today. I have astigmatism, which is the cause of the problem. At least I know now, and it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.
- My friend at work cut some shapes out on her die-cut machine so that I can make this really cute card for Sam and my dad because they both love Angry Birds.
- Another day sober
- A day off tomorrow
- 17 days binge free
- Getting to spend some time with Sam tonight
- Another day sober
- I finished my Christmas cards yesterday and got most of them in the mail (minus the few I’m waiting on addresses for)
- We made budget at work today for the first day in quite some time.
- I got home safe despite my car acting up. Gonna have to go to the mechanic in the next day or two.
- I work tomorrow, and then I have a day off :)
I’ve been feeling really unsober emotionally lately. I have no thoughts of drinking, but I cry at the drop of the hat, my anxiety has sky rocketed, I’m feeling resentful at people for the stupidest things, and I feel resentful that I have to go to meetings, call my sponsor, work step, and call other recovering people.
I know these things are NOT okay, so I’ve been doing all these things that I don’t want to do because I know I need to do them.
I also need to get back to my gratitude list, so here is my list for today:
1. A sponsor who always makes time for me. I met with her this morning and we listened to the Joe and Charlie Big Book study for an hour.
2. A sponsor who actually gets on my ass about not calling her or going to meetings.
3. My boyfriend is incredibly understanding and puts up with my emotional ups and downs in a caring, compassionate way.
4. My boss is gone for the next few days, so I won’t feel quite as stressed at work.
5. A smallish sale I made at work a few days ago led to the lady coming in today and purchasing a $300 machine I had talked to her about. We send a nightly email to our distract manager and that will definitely be a high point in there, which looks great if/when I apply for a store manager position.
6. I haven’t eaten fast food or binged in 14 days now! I’m definitely seeing that fast food is a binge TRIGGER.
7. Sam and I definitely going to St. Louis two weekends from now.
8. I’m actually going to have money for Christmas presents this year :)
9. Yesterday was 21 months sober!
In my addiction, there were countless lives that I casually touched whose day I made worse. Maybe I yelled at them, cut them off in anger, or was sarcastic. Perhaps I wasn’t directly rude, but I treated them with indifference and an absence of kindness.
I can never make direct amends to these people. The only amend I can make is to treat everyone I meet from this point on with the kindness I lacked in those situations.
Reblogging bc I need the reminder.
(via beo-aris)
