I’ve been feeling really unsober emotionally lately. I have no thoughts of drinking, but I cry at the drop of the hat, my anxiety has sky rocketed, I’m feeling resentful at people for the stupidest things, and I feel resentful that I have to go to meetings, call my sponsor, work step, and call other recovering people.
I know these things are NOT okay, so I’ve been doing all these things that I don’t want to do because I know I need to do them.
I also need to get back to my gratitude list, so here is my list for today:
1. A sponsor who always makes time for me. I met with her this morning and we listened to the Joe and Charlie Big Book study for an hour.
2. A sponsor who actually gets on my ass about not calling her or going to meetings.
3. My boyfriend is incredibly understanding and puts up with my emotional ups and downs in a caring, compassionate way.
4. My boss is gone for the next few days, so I won’t feel quite as stressed at work.
5. A smallish sale I made at work a few days ago led to the lady coming in today and purchasing a $300 machine I had talked to her about. We send a nightly email to our distract manager and that will definitely be a high point in there, which looks great if/when I apply for a store manager position.
6. I haven’t eaten fast food or binged in 14 days now! I’m definitely seeing that fast food is a binge TRIGGER.
7. Sam and I definitely going to St. Louis two weekends from now.
8. I’m actually going to have money for Christmas presents this year :)
9. Yesterday was 21 months sober!