Today has been such a productive day off and it’s only 5 pm.

• Up by 9, out the door by 10.
• Went to a new meeting. There were 7 of us and besides me, the person with the least amount of time in the room had 10 years. A regular at the meeting had died recently, and she had 39 years. I know time isn’t the be all and end all, but I will tell you, this meeting had some meat.
• Went to the grocery store and got $100 worth of groceries—lots of fresh fruits and veggies.
• Came home, cleaned out the fridge, put everything away, and then threw dinner in the crock pot to cook.
• Went to the gym with Sam and worked out for a half an hour…Baby steps—I haven’t worked out in a year probably!
• Looked for a blender but was unsuccessful.
• Came home, make some Cool Whip Cookies.
• Now, I’m going to take a shower, finish up dinner, set the table for Sam and I, and wait for him to get here so we can eat and watch a movie.

I’ve been slacking on making my list on here (though I still do it in my head before bed, but writing it down seems so much more real), so I spent a lot of time today thinking about all the great things from 2012. Here’s my compilation.

• I got through a surgery without it causing a relapse.
• I got a car after 4 years of not having one (the last had been repo’d) thanks to an AA friend in the car business.
• I met Sam.
• I took some awesome trips—Milwaukee, Disney World, St. Louis, Michigan.
• I got a promotion at work.
• I filed bankruptcy (might seem like a bad thing, but it had to be done, and now, I’m starting 2013 with a clean slate and things can only go UP from here financially)
• I celebrated a full year of sobriety in two ways—I celebrated 365 this year, but it was also the first year I was sober from Jan 1 to Dec 31.
• I was asked to be a sponsor for the first time.
• I finally understood so many of those AA slogans that never made sense to me—There but for the Grace of God; If nothing changes, nothing changes; This too shall pass; Let go and let God.
• I learned how to tell people what I need without manipulation tactics.
• I began to develop a relationship with my dad.
• I regained much of the trust that I broke in my addiction, probably much faster than I deserved.
• I rediscovered my love and talent for papercrafting.
• I started reworking the steps after resting on my laurels for too long.

Gosh, I feel like there is so much more, but I guess I’m just looking at the big picture.

All in all, I’m sticking with my statement that 2012 was good to me!

I’m seeing a lot of post out in Tumblr-land and Facebook-world about how 2012 sucked.

I guess, I have to go against the grain and say my 2012 was pretty awesome.

It wasn’t perfect by any means. I had a few setbacks financially and too many of the people around me struggled, which was hard to watch.

I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I got some of it, and I surely had everything I needed at the very least.

I didn’t accomplish everything I had hoped, but I accomplished enough, and I feel good about how I handled myself this year personally and professionally. I’ve made strides I never thought I would make EVER, let alone within a year’s time.

For those of you who didn’t have a great 2012, I sincerely hope your 2013 is better, but remember to be grateful for the positives that did happen (there has to be something) and give yourself credit where credit is due.

I’ve been feeling very present lately.

• Still sober!
• Sam came to Christmas eve and Christmas day and he had a great time and liked my family and my family all like him (maybe more than me)
• Seeing Les Mis yesterday…it was amazing. I cried the entire time.
• My meeting on Christmas Eve read and discussed the Acceptance story in the BB and the comments were so inspiring.
• Got my schedule today and I have a three day weekend—of Saturday, Sunday, and Monday :)
• Sam made reservations at one of my favorite restaurants on NYE and since I’m off, we get to go!
• Sam got a job! And so did my mom! (I’m grateful for this because it’s really helped their self-esteem/self-worth and it makes them really happy and them being happy makes ME really happy!)

So, the #1 thing on my gratitude list today is another day sober, as always.

My #2 is being able to buy gifts for every one this year. It’s not just my name on gift’s my parents bought.

#3 comes with a story.

I’ve been having dreams about my ex-boyfriend since I started dating Sam. I’ve had maybe 6 in the last year. Now, that’s not a ton, but we have been broken up for 3 years now and that’s probably more than all the dreams I’ve had about him in the other two years prior combined. This is the boyfriend I started getting high with, who stopped taking my calls when I got into rehab again, who owes me a lot of money, who used me, who I was still not over even this time last year (I distinctly remember having to call my sponsor last Thanksgiving because I found him on Facebook and wanted to message him but knew that I shouldn’t).

The dream was not sexual in nature, we were just talking. I honestly don’t even really remember what we talked about, but I remember it was a good talk.

The other thing I remember in the dream he asked me why I didn’t seem to be bitter at him anymore, and my response was that it was because I was very happy with Sam.

That was the most vivid part I remember about the dream.

And I think that was my closure because I really don’t think I’m even going to see him again. 

So, I’m grateful for that dream helping me realize what I really have to be grateful for.

•Another day sober
•Really fun night with the boy.
•Made some awesome gifts for my family for Christmas.
•New Parking Wars tonight :)

• another day sober
• home group christmas party
• off work at 930 instead of 1130
• finally getting to rest my voice
• sam and my’s 11 months!
• my mom finally got a good job!

• Another day sober
• Unexpectedly, my red light ticket fine got dropped from $175 to $75. Christmas miracle!
• Not having to/thinking I need to use sleeping pills anymore.
• Only burning one batch of caramel sauce before getting a good one.
• The snow not being as bad as expected.
• Getting to go to my home group’s holiday party tomorrow.
• Getting my dad’s Christmas present today
• PAY DAY (and right before Christmas—how lucky!)

• Another day sober
• My HP doing for me what I refuse to do for myself
• Finally finding out why my best friend has been isolating/distant
• Dinner with two of my faves tonight
• Finally getting some energy, even if it was at 8 o’clock at night