So, the #1 thing on my gratitude list today is another day sober, as always.
My #2 is being able to buy gifts for every one this year. It’s not just my name on gift’s my parents bought.
#3 comes with a story.
I’ve been having dreams about my ex-boyfriend since I started dating Sam. I’ve had maybe 6 in the last year. Now, that’s not a ton, but we have been broken up for 3 years now and that’s probably more than all the dreams I’ve had about him in the other two years prior combined. This is the boyfriend I started getting high with, who stopped taking my calls when I got into rehab again, who owes me a lot of money, who used me, who I was still not over even this time last year (I distinctly remember having to call my sponsor last Thanksgiving because I found him on Facebook and wanted to message him but knew that I shouldn’t).
The dream was not sexual in nature, we were just talking. I honestly don’t even really remember what we talked about, but I remember it was a good talk.
The other thing I remember in the dream he asked me why I didn’t seem to be bitter at him anymore, and my response was that it was because I was very happy with Sam.
That was the most vivid part I remember about the dream.
And I think that was my closure because I really don’t think I’m even going to see him again.
So, I’m grateful for that dream helping me realize what I really have to be grateful for.